Listening is a key skill you must deploy whether you are, or want to be, a good communicator. You need to listen to ensure that you respond to the speaker in the correct way, with not only the right word, but the right tone too. In other words, you must be able to adapt to new situations and individuals and respond accordingly. Listening will make you more aware of who your audience is and how your message should be tailored.

Listening is important for a number of reasons, according to a paper at the University of Bangor. It says: “Active listening helps to: learn and understand things better in a social and professional environment; become better at socialising; become better at sympathising with friends and family; build stronger relationships by making people feel valued; improve problem solving skills and absorb information better

It may seem a paradox, or even an oxymoron if it’s in the same sentence, to say: “To be a good communicator means you have to be a good listener.” It is so true. Moreover, if you are a good listener you are often a good leader. You have to be a good listener to be a good leader.

Becoming an active listener is important

Not only do you have to be an active listener to be a good communicator but you must also be able to convey your message confidently, respectfully, and empathetically as well as with clarity and conciseness. Other key traits you must have are the ability to read non-verbal cues- that is pay attention to body language and facial expressions, both your own and to other people’s – and to ask questions. “Asking questions shows you are engaged and helps you gather more information to better understand the other person.” says the University of Bangor.

How do you become an active listener? According to the website of Verywell Mind, there are some habits to get into which will help you master active learning. First, “concentrate on what is being said – don’t be distracted and don’t formulate a response early; show that you are engaged – look at the person speaking, nod occasionally to show

that you’re listening; wait for the speaker to finish speaking before asking questions and don’t interrupt with a response and summarise your understanding if something large or complicated has been explained.

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, says Stephen Covey in this well-known book “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People”. The traits of the most effective listeners, according to Covey, are rooted in empathic listening, the highest of his five levels of listening. Following this he talks about attentive listening. This is when listeners focus on what the speaker is saying. “However, they are still listening from their own “autobiographical” frame of

reference, with the intent to reply rather than to truly understand the the other person’s perspective.” he says.

The less effective traits are selective listening. This is when listeners only hear t parts of the conversation that interests them. Then there is pretend listening. This is when listeners makes sounds (“uh-huh,” “yeah”) and maintain eye contact to appear engaged, but their minds are elsewhere, he says.

Finally, there is ignoring. This is the lowest level, where listeners are physically present but mentally and emotionally checked out. “There is no genuine attempt to listen at all,” says Covey.

To reiterate, listening is the key skill you must have to be a good communicator. As Stephanie Hill acting head of GCS Curriculum, Cabinet Office, wrote on 29 July 2022 “listening is the willingness to have your mind changed. It is challenging and not easy, and it is about empathy. The International Listening Association (ILA; 2012) defines listening as:

‘the process of receiving, constructing meaning from and responding to spoken and/or nonverbal messages”.

It is time to step up. Get ready to listen.